necrosavior | folkmore inbox

Why would a necromancer eat bones? Munch munch destroy that good storage space? They're for her to do necromancy with. There aren't exactly loads of bones lying around this place, and these are free ones no one needs. Might not be human, but you take what you can get.

Hahahahhahahahaahha. Oh my god let me breath, ahahahahahhahahaaa. Sorry, need to, not everyone can be as advanced as the Ninth. I'm dying. Sharon, you've killed me. I'm dead. You finally did it. You finished me off. *wheezes*

Fear of dying makes sense. It can be real shitty. Fear of dying young or whatever, sure. But death is death, and from what I've seen, living forever is a lot shittier. (And why do people think it won't come to them? It comes to everyone. Everyfuckingone.

Wasn't thinking, idk. Have you guys ever thought about ordering a couple of medical corpses? Or is that a no-no in Folkmore?

GIDEON! EARTH HASN'T FIGURED OUT HOW TO FEED ALL ITS PEOPLE IN MY TIME! NO SPACE TRAVEL! NO HUMANS IN SPACE! NOT ALL OUR PEOPLE CAN FUCKING READ! Come on! Your spooky space compound is more advanced IN SOME WAYS than my shitty planet. And if this is how I kill you, you are weak!

Because they're young. Because they're fools. Because they don't think about death and don't care to consider the possibility. Lots of reasons, Gideon. Not everyone is a death weirdo.

"Not everyone is a death weirdo." If I got five Lore every time someone said that to me, I wouldn't have a lot, but it'd still be kinda fucked up of them.

I mean, sure, we could buy corpses. Harrow may have for her research, but it's kinda weird and impersonal feeling. 1-800-COR-PSES. Sure, we could always have Palamedes read the corpse, get something of a life story—

Unless it didn't have a life story? It just was a corpse? Appearing as a corpse? Always a corpse? Evercorpse? Fuck that'd be weiiiiiiiiiiiiird.

Uuuuuugh that sounds like the stone age. Food distribution isn't that hard if you can make enough food. You have a whole ass planet. You have to have enough food. How hard is it to give people food? It doesn't have to be tasty (snow leeks aren't). Just. Food. And reading. I don't get how you don't do that one. Don't people need to read? ??? Hey now, I said you killed me. I didn't say I stayed dead.

At least it pays.

A dead body is a dead body is a dead body, G.

My planet has issues and the people that have the power to change things do not want to. Just the awful, shitty way it is.

It does at that.

Sure, I don't know which skeleton farmer is which member of the Ninth House, but you treat them properly with respect. That's a thing, S.

Well fuck those people. Make them do it.

I'm not saying go out and disrespect corpses but they're still corpses. They've become no one.

Easier said than done. When people try, it gets nasty and people get scared to try again. Earth sucks, Gideon. It's not much better in other universes, either.

Sure, but I've given Harrow a long list of what she is and isn't allowed to do with my corpse/bones. Because I am not becoming a scrub brush. Or a farmer. These are a grade best of the best bones.

Thanks, I hate it.

What does one do with the best bones?

I never really had much time to hate it back home but... Yeah, me too.

You make a construct with regenerating ash that can kick a lot of ass and maintains all my knowledge of swordfighting so it can work independently of Harrow's skimpy sword knowledge.

You can hate it now. It's never too late.

That sounds so much cooler than just cremation.

I'm now an active hater, Gideon.

Right? I'm gonna be the coolest construct ever. Take that all ye "my bones get to live at the Mithraeum" shits. All you got to do was witness the dumbest drama over ten thousand years.

Good job, Sharon. Hate away.

Hey, some people wanna live at the... Mithraeum, whatever the fuck that means, and others wanna be a construct post-mortem. Don't judge.

I am a hater and I am drinking that haterade.

As someone who has spent time on the Mithraeum—literally it's usually god and the saints only because it'd literally kill anyone else to travel there—I can judge a little bit. Ugh, I guess some of them were doing some warding. But it's got a stupid amount of decoration-only bones. A waste.

Maybe you should jump your boyfriend while on that hater energy. Hatesex without the hate for your boy.

Not everyone wants to be useful.

...does hate normally make you want to fuck or am I the odd one here? [ Because it makes her want to vomit lava. She can do angry sex, it's better than some of her other outlets, but hate is something else. ]

Okay, but like your bones doing shit after you die is like... the normal ass most normal thing everyone expects where I'm from. Like, IDK, kids going to school or whatever.

Harrow isn't super into touch, so I'm pretty much always horny, Sharon. But plenty of people do hatesex. It's a whole trope.

So they're rebels. Love that for those bones. [ Now she's just being a brat. :3 ]

You can fix that for yourself, you know. And the people into hatesex do not know what real hate is.

If they're so fucking in love with the whole damn system that they want their bones to rest in the presence of god and his saints, then they can fucking earn it. Sweep up the herald corpses. Perform system maintenance. Something. Not sit on their lazy laurels like they're so fucking special. [ Why no, Gideon doesn't have any unresolved issues here. ]

Ha, trust me, I know. I get a good wank on whenever I want to bone. [ Get it? Bone? ] Hate isn't a single flavor emotion. There's a wide array, and one doesn't negate others. Shit, mate, have you ever seen what thousands and thousands of years of hate looks like between people? So fucking awkward to be in its presence.

Sore spot, huh?

Maybe not for you. It is for me. [ Dizzying. Violent. Almost intoxicating. ] If someone's hate is awkward, it's not just hate.

There's always someone who says manual labor is for other people.

All right we got a one flavor shop for hatred with you. But truuuuuuust me that was hatred all right. Ten thousand years of loving and hating and knowing and shit all tied together. Also, people were talking about boinking my dad. That's always awkward.

The people that suck in life are gonna wanna suck in death, too, Gideon. Come on now.

They hate wrong then but my sympathies. I'd probably be really grossed out if people were talking about boning my parents, too.

I knooooooow, but I can be pissy about it when their dumb ass bones sit there in the walls doing nothing while I get attacked by horrible space wasps and have noodle arms.

It's some knowing each other ten thousand years thing. That much time fucks you up. And thank you, yes, that's the reasonable reaction.

Maybe you should have beaten the space wasps with their bones. Then they'd be useful!

You'd think people would learn how to communicate properly after that long.

Ha, if only! Me and my sword love.

Pretty sure they looped past properly a few times into really weird ass scary stupid shit territory.

Gotta branch out a little, Gideon. Never know when you need to use a femur like a club.

Hey, that means they might loop back! You just gotta wait a couple hundred years to catch them at the proper point in their cycle.

I can in a pinch, but the thing is bones just aren't as strong without the muscles attached to them, even when they're backed up by necromancy. That's one of the reasons I can defeat an enormous bone construct. Even when their arms are like swords, they lack my strength. Plus they're far more fragile. I'd be better off picking up a metal bar.

Uuuuuuh, problem with that. Most of them are too dead for that to happen.

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