I understand. You couldn't get me to do it until the whole going to Canaan House pretending to be a good little cavalier thing. Ugh.
Per what I know, that means people should be swearing by my name. "Oh Gideon Nav!" Aaaaand everyone should know who I am? So sure, sure sure sure. Sounds fun.
Yes and yes. Oh, and people will hang up images of you on their walls and pray to you and eat bread some priest prayed over that they'll pretend is your flesh. It's a little fucked up.
For special occasions in Folkmore. Or when I want to get Harrow all hot and bothered.
Swearing with my name? Check. Hanging up images of me? Check. Pray to me? A little weird. Eat my fake body? Excuse me, this isn't the Third house. We're gonna nix that one. Nip it in the bud.
She does. Before we came here, it might have been intimate, but it was also beleaguered, vindictive, and bitchy. Shortly after we found each other here, there was a summer camp, and one of the activities was body paint. I had her paint me all over. Every single bone. Each one labeled in her tiny script. Now that felt like a contact high.
Mystery like beef and pork and chicken! Not gross stuff. Pffft, I've always had my denouncers. Would love to see their faces when they learn God's my dad. Take that, suckers.
How about this? We can have dinner sometime with both of our salads, and we can both try both. Surely you can handle facing mystery spiced meat one time.
Sure. My personal plan was never go back to the Ninth House again.
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Per what I know, that means people should be swearing by my name. "Oh Gideon Nav!" Aaaaand everyone should know who I am? So sure, sure sure sure. Sounds fun.
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Yes and yes. Oh, and people will hang up images of you on their walls and pray to you and eat bread some priest prayed over that they'll pretend is your flesh. It's a little fucked up.
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Swearing with my name? Check.
Hanging up images of me? Check.
Pray to me? A little weird.
Eat my fake body? Excuse me, this isn't the Third house. We're gonna nix that one. Nip it in the bud.
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So a no-go on grape juice for fake blood, too. Got it. Communion is gonna be sad.
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Communion can be a community dinner.
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I vote for a potluck and everyone has to bring a version of a salad. Potato salad. Macaroni salad. Pasta salad. Egg salad.
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As long as meat salad is a thing, I'm in.
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...chicken salad.
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Why stop at one meat? I'm thinking meat cubes rolled in spices, and there can be different spices and different meats. A real meat salad.
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That sounds awful but you're the Jesus of... IDK, the Houses Universe. Jesus chooses their fantastic communion/community dinner spread.
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What's awful about mystery meat cubes when they are all tasty? Ha. Nine House Jesus. I'm sure Silas would call me an anti-Jesus.
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Hey, maybe they'll suck up to you after. Get all grovelly and weepy. "Oh, Jesus-Gideon, how stupid we were to have missed it!"
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Oh man, imagining the great aunts blessing me and shit is so creepy. Everything they do is creepy. I just hope it gives Crux a heart attack.
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Just threaten to tell your dad about him. Bet that'll kick that heart into overdrive and then zap.
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Haha, I wish. There's no way my dad would show up to the Ninth House. That'd be like end of the world times.
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What about a phone call? Video call?
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That isn't really a thing across that vast a distance. We got a letter summoning us to Canaan House.
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Then make him send a letter! Or a video message! There are options, Gideon.
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Sure. My personal plan was never go back to the Ninth House again.
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Whatever works for you.
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100%. Best plan. Let the great aunts die. Finally.
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Dark but I like it.
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Honestly, it's more incredible they're still alive. Somehow. They're aaaaaaancient.
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